Breaking Ice (The Jendari Book 2) Page 5

  Then her scent changed, becoming heavier, spicier. Now they were both aroused and the situation between them went from awkward back to dangerous. Kasim didn’t dare move. His emotions were all over the place. He was jumbled, edgy, and scoured raw. And the temptation of a few hours of oblivion—of losing himself in Winter—was entirely too tempting. It was bad enough that he could smell her arousal, but if he gazed into those fathomless brown eyes right now he knew he’d be lost. He simply couldn’t afford to look at her until he had himself under control.

  Winter took a deep breath and her breasts pressed against his chest. “Do you plan to let me go anytime soon?”

  “No.” Not yet. His nightmares always left him feeling drained and hollowed out, but Winter’s presence was filling that emptiness with emotions he didn’t want and needs he didn’t dare fulfil. And having her pinned to the door and at his mercy was feeding the hunting instincts of his lepardine. His four-legged half stretched and prowled in rising interest.

  “So, you’re not going to let me go?” Her voice was calm and her body began to ease. She made no effort to escape and his lepardine growled in pleasure. Perversely, the more she relaxed, the more interested his feline half became. For a moment, man and beast merged, and Kasim found himself tapping into her energy, using her calm surrender to smooth out his jagged edges. His intellect demanded he let her go, but his splintered soul wanted to pull her even closer.

  “I can’t release you yet.” Kasim hated to make the admission, but he didn’t want her pushing him, risking his fragile control. He was barely holding himself together, and the scent of her arousal was making it harder to ignore his growing desire for her.

  Her breath was warm against his cheek. “Tell me what you need, Kasim.” And then the bold, crazy woman flexed her hips against his cock in silent acknowledgement of his arousal.

  “You can’t give me what I need.” The words seemed to spill out of their own accord.

  “How do you know?” She surrendered to him, her body going soft under the weight of his body and his grip on her wrists.

  Kasim couldn’t hold back his growl of pleasure. “The ice you’re treading is thin enough to break.”

  “And what if it does?”

  He tightened his grip in warning. “You won’t like the outcome.”

  “Won’t I?”

  “No.” Badria save him, she was bold. And beautiful. And so fucking tempting when she was warm, aroused, and willing. Forcing himself to create some distance, he eased his body back until there was a couple of inches of air between them. Switching his grip, he brought her hands up over her head, stretching her arms up against the door.

  Blanking his expression, he forced his eyes to go cold. “You can’t give me what I need.” He said the words to discourage her, but also to remind himself of what he was.

  “How do you know? You haven’t asked me for anything yet.” She arched into him, rubbing her small, soft body against his.

  And that was when his control snapped.

  All the fear, anger, and frustration of the last few days surged up inside him like a sleet storm, cutting him to pieces from the inside out. His body burned cold, aching with a bone-deep sense of outrage and grief. The pain and powerlessness of his recent capture rebounding and magnifying the demons of his past.

  He shoved Winter hard up against the door. “What I want is oblivion,” he ground out. “What I want is you on your hands and knees, naked and willing.” Pressing his forehead to hers, he allowed his ragged breath to heat her skin. “I want to fuck you until everything falls away. Until the only thing that exists is my need to come inside you.”

  There was a long, fraught pause. His pulse thundered in his ears and his chest squeezed the air from his lungs. As soon as the words left his mouth he realized they were too harsh, too much, but he couldn’t call them back. He knew she was going to say no, and instead of feeling relieved—as he should—all he could feel was bitter disappointment.

  Winter took a breath and he was about to ease away when she said the one word that changed everything.

  “Yes.”

  He kissed her before she changed her mind. Slamming his lips to hers, he pushed his tongue against her lips, demanding entry. The instant she parted for him, he was inside her, absorbing her taste and texture. Stealing it for his own.

  Transferring her wrists into a single grip above her head, he used his free hand to skim her body. He cupped the delicate ball of her shoulder before sliding down to squeeze the soft weight of her breast. He kneaded her with palm and fingers, tugging and twisting her nipple with a touch that was more urgent than tender.

  Bending his knees, he rubbed his cock against her core, the contact both arousing and frustrating.

  And all the while, he ravaged her mouth, demanding her surrender. Craving it as if she alone could tame his demons.

  Tearing his mouth from hers, he yanked at her t-shirt, pulling it over her head and tossing it to the floor. Her golden skin shone in the soft light of the single lamp, and her light-brown nipples hardened under his gaze. For a moment, he was lost to her, filled with nothing but the sight of her half-naked body and the scent of her skin.

  Then she reached out to touch him. The instant her hand made contact, she broke the spell.

  Kasim’s hands flashed, locking onto her wrists and slamming them above her head. “Don’t touch me.”

  She stilled under him and the warm light in her eyes went out. His bold, sexy Winter disappeared and in her place was a woman who was uncertain and a little scared.

  Fuck, he was being an asshole. Leaning down, he kissed her again, gently this time. Rubbing his lips against hers, he nibbled and licked from one side of her mouth to another. “I didn’t mean to insult you or frighten you.” He whispered the words against her soft, swollen lips. “I just … I can’t stand to be touched.”

  It was an inadequate explanation, but it was as much as he could give her right now. He leaned into her, nuzzling her neck, breathing her in. Waiting for her to decide if he was worth the effort.

  She turned her head slightly, her lips grazing his temple. “I understand what you’re asking.”

  “And?”

  “The answer is still yes.”

  By the Goddess, this woman was extraordinary. Her courage was humbling, and as arousing as hell. Releasing her and stepping away, Kasim yanked the cover off one of the twin beds and spread it out on the floor. He positioned himself near the bathroom door, with the full length of the room between them, and looked at Winter.

  “Take off your pants.”

  She complied, kicking them to one side and pushing her hair behind her shoulders as she straightened. Then she simply stood there, all smooth skin and quiet confidence. Gloriously naked, both physically and emotionally. Kasim drank in the sight, memorizing every line of her body, every indentation and curve. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and he couldn’t wait to be inside her.

  “On the floor. Hands and knees.” His voice was gruff and his commands sounded harsh even to his ears, but he couldn’t help it. It was taking everything he had not to fall on her and ravish her. He simply didn’t have enough will left over to soften his voice or his words.

  Then Winter walked onto the bedcover, turned, and dropped to her hands and knees.

  Salivating, Kasim moved in behind her, kneeling between her legs as he smoothed his hands over her tight, round ass. “Beautiful.” Whispering the word like a benediction, he eased his hands higher to slide over her back and shoulders. Then he made his way back down, gliding over her ass and coming to rest at the heat of her core.

  Using just one finger, he slid inside her, thrusting slowly to test her readiness. She was wet and swollen, and the sight of her arousal—coupled with her glorious smell—eroded any patience Kasim might have had left.

  Withdrawing his finger, he shuffled closer, lifting the hem of his shirt and pulling down his pants just far enough to free his erection. Gripping her hips, he fitted hi
s cock to her entrance by feel alone, pressing until his head breached her. He held himself still, trying to regain some control over his heavy breathing and erratic heartbeats. Then Winter squeezed her intimate muscles, and he was lost.

  Using her hips to pull her close, Kasim pushed inside her in a long, tight glide. When he was hips to ass, he pulled back and slammed into her. She rippled around his cock and Kasim could feel his first orgasm swell inside him, racing along his spine, pulling his balls up tight and painful. His skin crawled with the need to come, so he thrust into her hard. Once, twice, and on the third time he exploded, shuddering in pleasure as he jerked inside her, marking her with his seed.

  He cried out as his lepardine roared in triumph. This woman captivated both man and beast, and if Kasim hadn’t been balls deep inside her, he might have worried about that fact.

  Instead, he dropped over her, caging her slender body with his. Giving her enough of his weight that she’d have to keep both hands on the floor to balance them, Kasim palmed her breasts. He squeezed, pinched, and tugged as he rocked into her. Part of his brain catalogued what she liked and what drove her wild, while the other part was lost in the pleasure of being inside her.

  And Winter wasn’t shy about showing him what she liked. She moaned, sighed, swore, and begged—and every utterance magnified his own pleasure.

  He kept at her, cranking up her desire, bringing her to her peak. By the time she crested, he was pounding into her, both of their bodies covered in sweat. Crying out, she broke apart for him, her body convulsing under his, her core gripping him so tightly it was almost painful.

  Fighting the urge to bite her neck and mark her, he turned his face away, pressing his cheek to hers. Both man and beast wanted to possess her, to claim her, but a tiny bit of decency remained. Kasim clung to it, even as his arms tightened to pull her close.

  The moment her shudders started to slow, he chased his own climax. Gripping her hips far too hard, Kasim slipped his tethers, pounding into her in uncontrolled passion. It didn’t take long before the second orgasm tore out of him, shredding him to pieces as he poured himself into her.

  Gasping for breath, he wrapped his arms around her and tipped them sideways. His cock still deep inside her, he caught her hands and crossed them over her chest. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” Her response didn’t sound all that decisive, and he didn’t like the way she was trembling in his arms. It didn’t feel like the aftershocks of pleasure, it felt like something else. He just didn’t know what.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Truly, I’m … fine.”

  Lie. “Was I too rough?”

  “No.” She made a move to turn in his arms, but he tightened his grip to keep her in place.

  “Then what’s wrong?” Her response was confusing the hell out of him. The possibility that he’d hurt her or that she hadn’t enjoyed their sharing completely deflated his post-orgasm high. His cock began to soften and Kasim put a lid on his disappointment. He’d been ready to spend half the night fucking Winter, but she’d pulled her energy in, effectively shutting him out. And the scent of her arousal had started to fade, which told him everything he didn’t want to know.

  Slowly releasing her, he rolled to his feet and covered her with the edge of the bedspread. “Don’t move.”

  Kasim went into the bathroom and turned on the faucets to fill the tub. Wetting a cloth under the spray he cleaned himself up and righted his clothes.

  Then, like the coward he was, he waited in the bathroom until the tub was full.

  Chapter Six

  Winter lay on the hard floor and held the covers tight on her body, trying to pull herself together.

  Kasim had blasted her wide open, turned her upside-down, and left her scattered on the floor. And the worst of it was, she was entirely at fault.

  She’d been finding him increasingly attractive, there was no point denying that. But when she’d seen him within the grip of his nightmare, something inside her broke. The soft heart that she always kept protected had floated to the surface—plump and vulnerable.

  And when he had her pinned to the door, his huge body trembling in residual shock, that stupid heart of hers led her completely astray. Instead of feeling frightened or intimidated, like any sane woman, Winter had been filled with an unbearable yearning. There was something in the Jendari warrior that called to her, making her braver than she was, encouraging her to take a risk best left alone.

  Kasim’s mix of strength, vulnerability, independence, and loneliness had proved impossible to resist. Even now she couldn’t believe she’d offered herself to him. With the trust issues she’d acquired over the years, she never had sex with a man until she knew him really well.

  And she never, ever had one-night stands.

  She’d broken all her rules with Kasim. And now that their passion was spent, she was having a hard time dealing with her behavior.

  Making the first move was out of character for her. But submitting to his needs the way she had, not touching even though she was desperate to get her hands on him, scared the hell out of her. Winter had been on her own since she was sixteen, and she’d been making her own choices long before that. She never gave in, never gave up, and never left herself vulnerable.

  But she’d looked into a pair of ice-blue eyes and stepped over a line she never thought she’d cross. She given herself entirely into his care and she’d enjoyed it. More than enjoyed, she’d reveled in it.

  Being with Kasim was like opening a door to a world she’d never dreamed existed. And now that door was open, she was terrified about what that might mean.

  Winter had spent half her life molding herself into the person she wanted to become. She liked being in charge of her destiny, and she needed to be independent. It was essential to her that her heart remained her own.

  Kasim, or at least her feelings for him, threatened all that. As soon as he’d wrapped her in his arms and spooned behind her, Winter had a sense of homecoming, of being exactly where she belonged. It was as if she’d finally found her resting place, and for a moment she’d been so swept away she wanted to weep in relief.

  But only for a moment.

  Then reality kicked in and she realised this beautiful, complicated man posed a real and direct threat to everything that defined her. If she allowed herself to fall for him, she would cease to be Winter Nayar, and she’d become someone else entirely.

  And the hell of it was, she was rowing that boat all on her own. As far as Kasim was concerned, she was a night of comfort after a harrowing ordeal. Once they got back to New York, she’d be nothing more than a pleasant memory for him.

  But for her, he’d always be the man who’d turned her inside out and exposed the thin veneer of her painstakingly crafted identity. And a part of her hated him for that.

  Winter was still lying on the floor when Kasim came out of the bathroom. She didn’t speak as he lifted her from the dingy bedspread and carried her into the small, tiled room. She didn’t look at him or try to touch him, and she didn’t answer him as he left her standing by the tub.

  It wasn’t until he turned his back to leave that she dared to look at him. His hair was still neatly pulled back into a tail, his t-shirt stretched over his broad shoulders with barely a wrinkle and his pants rode low and tidy on his hips. He looked as presentable as he had when he first donned his clothes, as if he hadn’t slept in them. As if he hadn’t fucked her into oblivion while still wearing them.

  “Ugh.” As the door closed behind him, Winter shook her head in disgust. Here she was naked in every way that mattered, and he looked like he’d just come in from a walk around the block. Which wasn’t his fault in any way, even though she was totally blaming him for her current mind fuck.

  Climbing into the tub, she lowered herself into the steaming water. She soaped up a cloth and rubbed every inch of her skin. If only there was a way to scrub him out of her head as easily as she could wash him from her body.

  She paused
mid-swipe, the thought of washing him away leading her mind to something she should have thought about before now.

  They hadn’t used a condom.

  Winter’s stomach pitched and contracted, and her vision blacked out in momentary horror.

  “Oh, my God.” She slapped her hands over her mouth to stop herself yelling for Kasim in panic. She’d have it out with him all right, but not when she was naked and in the bath.

  Surging to her feet, she stepped out of the tub and rubbed herself dry with another small, scratchy towel. Yanking on her clothes, she dragged a brush through her hair and secured it in an untidy bun. Then she was out the door, her anger at Kasim in no way diminished by the fact that she was equally responsible for their bout of unprotected sex.

  She stormed into the outer room, hands on hips. Kasim was sitting on the end of his bed and when he looked up at her, she stumbled to a halt. It killed her that he was so sexy, and the way her body softened for him drove her nuts.

  Mentally searching for the spine she used to have, she squared her jaw and tried to glare at him. “We didn’t use a condom.”

  His brows puckered in confusion. “A what?”

  “A condom.” His confusion remained and her heart sank. “Do you know what that is?”

  “No.”

  “Crap.” Damn it. Shit. Winter scrubbed her hands over her face, accepting the possibility that the no-protection-fuck-up was on her alone. And didn’t that put a spike in her righteous outrage. Slumping a little, she walked over to her bed and sat down, facing Kasim.

  “A condom is a thin rubber sheath that men wear over their cocks when they have sex. It prevents unwanted pregnancy and protects both parties from sexually transmitted diseases.”